About Josh

Understanding My Health & What’s Going On

Hey everyone. If you’re reading this, you probably asked a question in chat about my health, tubes, or why things are the way they are. Instead of trying to explain it piece by piece in the middle of a set or a game, I put this page together so everyone has the full picture.

Here is the breakdown of my health, what I deal with mentally and neurologically, where things stand now, and what streaming means to me.

The Core Physical Conditions

  • Type 1 Diabetes: I’ve lived with Type 1 Diabetes for a long time. Over the years, the cumulative wear and tear—combined with DKA (Diabetic Ketoacidosis)—took a massive toll on my body and nervous system.
  • Gastroparesis & Autonomic Nerve Damage: When I was 20, I was officially diagnosed with gastroparesis. Essentially, the vagus nerve—which controls the involuntary functions of your digestive tract—is severely damaged. But gastroparesis and autonomic nerve damage are far more than just a GI issue. Because the damage is systemic and progressive, it doesn’t just stop at digestion; it has spread upward and now affects my swallowing, basic motor skills, and neurological function. Medically speaking, this puts me in a terminal status, as the progressive deterioration will eventually impact my diaphragm and stop my breathing.
  • The J-Tube & Current Feeding Struggles: To bypass my stomach entirely, I have a J-tube (jejunostomy tube) surgically implanted, delivering nutrition straight into my jejunum. Right now, tube feeding is not going well and is a constant daily struggle to manage.

Where I Live Now: The Reality of Institutional Care

Because of the length of my recent hospital stay and my medical needs, I lost my home in the woods and won’t be able to ever go back. Right now, I am stuck in an institution, waiting for placement in a nursing home or assisted living facility.

Because of my agoraphobia—an intense anxiety and fear of being in situations where escape is difficult—and my physical limits, leaving home or navigating the physical world outside is impossible. Aside from my main neighbor and in-person friend, Miss Sharon, streaming is my only connection to people.

Autism Savant Syndrome & Agoraphobia

  • Autism Savant Syndrome: Being on the autism spectrum comes with a different way of processing the world and sensory input. Having savant syndrome has made me super gifted with computers and DJing music. It gives me an intense, hyper-focused ability to master complex software, build technical systems, and dive deep into audio mixing and crate-digging. It’s the engine behind everything I do creatively and technically, though it also means sensory overload can hit hard and fast.
  • Agoraphobia: An intense anxiety and fear of leaving home or navigating the physical world outside. Because of this, my computer screen, this chat, and this stream are my primary bridge to the outside world.

What Streaming Means to Me

Music, gaming, and talking with this community are quite literally what keep me going. Streaming is where I get to connect with people, share what I love, and be part of a community without being trapped by my physical or environmental limits.

If you see me step away, handle medical management off-camera, or if my motor skills seem a bit off on a given day, now you know why.

Supporting the Stream

I always appreciate support, but more than anything, I prefer to have people stop in my stream, hang out, and chat. That human connection means the world to me.

However, every donation does help me try to live a somewhat normal life even though I am stuck in an institution. If you’d like to chip in, you can do so through the links below:

Thank you so much for looking out for the community, showing love, and keeping this chat a solid place to hang out. Let’s keep the focus on the music, the conversation, and having a good time.

Scroll to Top